1) If you tell someone that you love them and respect then and appreciate having them in your life and want them back, following it up with "You don't deserve any of my retirement because you didn't work for it, I did" is not really the best way to make them believe you. Especially when they have worked their rear end off for 14 years to keep your home and bills and kids and responsibilities on order so you could go do whatever your job required of you. I'm an Army wife, you're lucky you didn't get knocked on your ass for that one.
2)If you do happen to find yourself in the position for your marriage to be ending, and your wifely person is doing their level best to keep things fair and not totally rake you over the coals, even though they could, and being nice enough to walk you through the paperwork and not take the lawyer route, even though they could, it's probably not the best idea to throw at them the aforementioned sentence. Such belittling comments don't do much to make them feel like any magnanimous gestures on their part are of any worth. I could be awarded far more than I believe is fair if we took this in front of a judge, I don't want that to happen. I am trying to preserve quality of life for everyone involved, and I don't have to do that. Don't be an ungrateful ass and make me regret trying to be decent.
And that, my friends, is the nice version...
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